Friday morning we woke up to a freshly bleached home. The toddler was chipper. He even ate some breakfast. We’d all managed to sleep a little.
And there was a squirrel in the trap in the basement.
This is the part of the story where Landlord hears the Swedelock swear. I tolerate little, and swear much. But the guy I’m married to? He is a good man, a patient man. And if he swears at you, then you, my friend, are a swear word.
You may recall earlier finger pointing (Landlord toward Tenant) about an open window sans screen during 80 degree weather. Sure, I’m a good person. I’m willing to concede that this may have resulted in Squirrel #1’s entry. Even Squirrel #2. But Squirrel #3 on Day #3 – with fresh buds from the tree in our yard? It’s time to call a squirrel service.
The toddler and I stayed close to home that day. He was still gaining strength, and I was feeling beat from the lack of sleep. He supervised part of Operation Get Out Summer Clothes. Really, he rolled around in an empty suitcase. But it was in a gifted and talented way.
In the late afternoon, we wandered next door to our neighbor’s back yard. You may recall them as the heroic couple who gave me a drink in Act One. As our kids tumbled about, I noted I wasn’t feeling so great. I sat on a swing and decided I really wasn’t feeling great. You know where this is headed.
Four minutes after the Swedelock walked in the door, I was in the bathroom. For five hours. Including during bath time. “Mamma frow up,” was the report for a few days.
The next day was Saturday, but The Squirrel Whisperer had a conference all day. I. could. not. move. I could barely speak. But we had power. And back-to-back–to-back-to-back Thomas The Tank Engine videos. My kid was a rock star entertaining himself. He did not even let himself out the front door when I fell asleep on the couch.
Sunday my parents arrived. They coo’d and tsk’d at all the right places when we told them more about our past 5 days. My dad suggested a Paleo recipe that might work with squirrel. Then we sat around and stared at our various iDevices. Life was back to normal. But there’s still a squirrel trap in our basement.