A Squirrel Pox, Act Three

Some of you thought the squirrel pox was over. So did I. Act One of this episode was irritating. Act Two of this episode was exasperating.

Act Three

Friday morning we woke up to a freshly bleached home. The toddler was chipper. He even ate some breakfast. We’d all managed to sleep a little.

And there was a squirrel in the trap in the basement.

This is the part of the story where Landlord hears the Swedelock swear. I tolerate little, and swear much. But the guy I’m married to? He is a good man, a patient man. And if he swears at you, then you, my friend, are a swear word.

You may recall earlier finger pointing (Landlord toward Tenant) about an open window sans screen during 80 degree weather. Sure, I’m a good person. I’m willing to concede that this may have resulted in Squirrel #1’s entry. Even Squirrel #2. But Squirrel #3 on Day #3 – with fresh buds from the tree in our yard? It’s time to call a squirrel service.

The toddler and I stayed close to home that day. He was still gaining strength, and I was feeling beat from the lack of sleep. He supervised part of Operation Get Out Summer Clothes. Really, he rolled around in an empty suitcase. But it was in a gifted and talented way.

In the late afternoon, we wandered next door to our neighbor’s back yard. You may recall them as the heroic couple who gave me a drink in Act One. As our kids tumbled about, I noted I wasn’t feeling so great. I sat on a swing and decided I really wasn’t feeling great. You know where this is headed.

Four minutes after the Swedelock walked in the door, I was in the bathroom. For five hours. Including during bath time. “Mamma frow up,” was the report for a few days.

The next day was Saturday, but The Squirrel Whisperer had a conference all day. I. could. not. move. I could barely speak. But we had power. And back-to-back–to-back-to-back Thomas The Tank Engine videos. My kid was a rock star entertaining himself. He did not even let himself out the front door when I fell asleep on the couch.

Sunday my parents arrived. They coo’d and tsk’d at all the right places when we told them more about our past 5 days. My dad suggested a Paleo recipe that might work with squirrel. Then we sat around and stared at our various iDevices. Life was back to normal. But there’s still a squirrel trap in our basement.

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4 Responses to A Squirrel Pox, Act Three

  1. Kitty says:

    Oh dear god, you poor thing!!! I do hope the plague (squirrel and GI both) is over.
    And I love this — “in a gifted and talented way.” LOL!!!
    Is this why you’re looking into buying a house?

    • alanajoyski says:

      Ha. The human plague stopped with me, which is fortunate. Neither of my parents got wind of it when they were here.

    • alanajoyski says:

      The human plague stopped with me. Neither of my parents got it, nor did the man.

      We know the home ownership does not prevent squirrel issues. But we know that nobody will be standing between us + our screens, or us + our pest control service. 🙂

  2. Mari Bohman says:

    We had a chipmunk once…they are fast little devils…almost caused our dog to have a coronary. Hilarious!

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