We’ve been in the new house for a month. Life has been too exciting to sit down and write. Allow me to use, as an example, Day 6 in this house. I’ll set the scene.
Because of our flooring work, there was floor dust everywhere. On our walls, in the crevices of our outlets, on the top shelves of cabinets. We had two women come deep clean for 5 hours. They cleaned like my home was going on the cover of House Beautiful, but barely made a dent in the mess.
Our kitchen was sporting new drywall, but only partial. Why partial? Because a couple outlets weren’t installed correctly in the original wall. This meant I had to track down a new electrician before we could finish our walls. Why a new electrician? Because the guy we used before disappeared for a week. I could only assume he was dead. I didn’t wish the guy dead, but it seemed like the only logical explanation, since I was working hard to track him down from my dad’s beeping room in the ICU.
Anyway, I am happy the drywall guy didn’t just put walls over outlets that needed to be fixed. I’m sad he got mud all over our freshly-laquered cabinets. I am also sad he used our garbage can for his waste. And then broke the handle. Actually, that handle irritated me the most of all. The Swedelock just bought that, dude. It was our first yard waste receptacle.
Oh, and our kitchen pocket door doesn’t close all the way now. There’s a piece of whatnot that our drywall guy dropped down there. Now maybe the door comes off. Maybe we break into the wall again. Either way, we still need drywall work done. And that work is so dusty. So. Dusty.
First thing in the morning, I sent an email to Green Home Chicago with our backsplash tile specs. It would be 6-8 weeks before the tile would arrive. Because of course The One True Tile has to be hand-crafted to order. Felt accomplished.
Our dishwasher had handled a couple test loads, but stopped automatically going through cycles the day we moved in. Day 6, an appliance repair guy informed me we needed $400 worth of work. He could also not find the source of the gas smell near our stove. Oh, did I not mention that?
Later that day, the HVAC guy who had un- and re-hooked our stove during the kitchen flooring installation came back to check on the gas smell. He found nothing. At our request, he removed some copper pipe that was still hanging around for an old gas dryer. Why didn’t they remove the pipe when they took out the old gas machine? For the same reason the dryer vent was installed to be a firey death trap! For the same reason those electrical outlets weren’t installed properly!
The HVAC guy found nothing by way of a leak, but my nose doesn’t lie. Totally didn’t charge us for the call, which was decent.
Our energy company was then called in for “an emergency.” They found the leak, fixed the leak. The woman who came out was amazeballs patient with my eleventy questions. I’m on her team after the zombie apocalypse.
Meanwhile in stove land, it’s one of the world’s most amazing ranges. It’s like owning Lamborghini; this means only two places locally service it. And it needs a little service, so I managed to make some phone calls. Yes, all on Day 6. One store said they only service appliances they’ve sold, and they wouldn’t have records going back far enough to tell me if they sold this stove. Um, your record keeping is my problem? Well, they don’t get my service call, or a visit from me for the new darn dishwasher I need. Or the inevitable appliance we will need after that. Or my recommendation. Eye roll.
The day of the dishwasher and emergency dispatch from the gas company, our bathtub cold water suddenly wouldn’t turn off completely.
The Swedelock came home a tad early from work. And promptly (accidentally and lightly) pulled the entire faucet out of the wall, causing an amazing bit much like Kramer from Seinfeld with his black market shower head. A classic comedy routine! I heard gushing and swearing, and dashed to the water main. But for some reason I couldn’t turn it off. So we switch stations. Then my husband’s all “Where is it? WHERE IS IT?!” from the basement. I’m just laughing and laughing at that point.
Thankfully we had a plumber who had already removed one of our two about-to-die water heaters. (Two? Yes: two. Consistency.)
When our plumber picked up the phone he said, “Nothing exploded, did it?”
Ya, but not the way you think.
I sent him pictures (Thanks, technology!) and he told me, “Eh, you could totally fix that. Lemme talk you through it.”
Right? Plumber man is my favorite man. Stay tuned for a whole post about him some day. BTW: No, we couldn’t fix it, because of broken bits. But we only had to keep our water main off for a night. We got a service visit first thing in the morning to get us going again.
We ate out that night. I did not stop laughing.
A few days later I got an electrician. When he came to give an estimate, he said he could just do some of our small jobs right away. So our drywall guy could come back and finish the job. But then the drywall guy went hunting. Let’s hope he doesn’t lose his phone in a lake. Again. And that he calls me back.