Rest In Peace

It seems redundant to say “rest in peace” to my Aunt Mary. She was one of the most peaceful people I will ever know.

That phrase “quietly devoted” seems old-fashioned, even trite, but it is the first that comes to mind to describe her as a wife. “Quiet” is an understatement. Although that generally expected silence made it extra funny when she got a good eye roll in, or really spoke her mind.

She and my Uncle George raised two incredibly compassionate, generous, and beautiful men. My heart is a mess of spaghetti for my cousins. I can tell them one thing for sure: There is no love like a mother’s love. That damn love is bottomless, and strong. Just like the grief they are feeling. That they have known such mother’s love is a miracle, and one of the only things that matters.

At Christmas, my cousin’s partner organized a Skype date, with the “kids,” grandkids, and my aunt and uncle in California. It was so simple, and such a wonderful gift to see everyone. It occurs to me in this moment, that we Skyped on their 49th wedding anniversary. I’m sorry I forgot to acknowledge the day at the time. So here’s their rad wedding photograph.

December 26, 1964

December 26, 1964

We knew Aunt Mary was leaving us. Cancer. Hospice care (at home, thank God). We are all relieved she is relieved of her suffering. But I, for one, would rather the relief came with wellness.

Here’s to a year of cherishing the love we have, while we have it. I love you, Aunt Mary.

UK 2011

The whole family in Cheddar, Summer 2011.


About alanajoyski

Project manager, problem solver, chips fan.
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8 Responses to Rest In Peace

  1. Fran/Gail and Lloyd says:

    Oh how our hearts go out to you all.
    The family will not be the same without her quiet countenance and presence. We are a better world for the family she gave us but not a better world without her. Only the passage of time will the loss eventually become easier to bear.
    With love and grace to you all.

  2. Mom says:

    Beautifully said.

  3. Kathy Kaminski says:

    This is a beautiful tribute, Alana. May she rest in the arms of the Lord, today and always.

  4. Catherine says:

    Love to you, your family, and all that knew your aunt. Of course we would all love to keep our loved ones with us, but at times we must concede that their need to rest outweighs our needs for their corporality. And the deceased live on in our memories and how we pass those memories on to our loved ones. We get to keep everything that they gave us; and we get to give those gifts to others, both in our memories and in the ways they have made us better people. I know I learned a lot from my late mother-in-law. I know I will make sure her American grandchildren remember her (even if they are my implanted memories) despite not seeing her often. Grant her rest, but hang on to everything and pass it on. Beijao.

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