I Can’t Do It

I’m a relatively confident person, with many talents. I even have some super powers. But I think it’s important to note some of basic things I absolutely can not do.

  • I can not back up a car. Our new house has a long driveway. I will never park in the garage unless someone is available to later back the car out for me.
  • I can not remember prices or measurements. Three weeks after closing on our house, I could not tell you the price we paid. I can’t tell you the price of anything I purchased at the grocery store this week. Until I bought our first car a few years ago, I thought cars started at $35,000, no matter what. I now know that’s not the case. I still can’t tell you how much our car did cost. I don’t know my waist size. The Swedelock’s shoe size is: the same as his father’s, so I can call his mom to ask. I think I’m five-five. The Swedelock is taller than that, but not six feet. I’m told six feet is quite tall.
  • If there is a group of people in a room, I can not estimate the number of them. Any number beyond fifteen, I’m like, “Between twenty-five and seventy-five?”
  • I can’t keep my father and my best friend’s birthday straight. I can’t remember who is on the 24th and who is on the 26th. In reality, they are on the same date, exactly 30 years apart. Nobody’s is on the 24th. I’ll forget again next year.
  • I can’t remember where the sparkling water is in our grocery store. I do 95% of the shopping.
  • Street names: Nope. I know the street I live on, and the name of the street I take to get to it.
  • I can’t spell apologize or knowledge correctly without thinking about it. Sometimes I still get them wrong.

I’d say not being able to remember prices or measurements is my biggest hurdle. Goodness knows I don’t have to spell apologize often. I’m not fiscally irresponsible, but it does make me feel like a dumb-dumb that I can’t tell you what our mortgage payment is. I marvel when people exclaim, “I found my favorite black beans on sale for ninety-nine cents!” ‘How do they know what beans usually cost, and how do they remember the cheaper price they found? I feel like a cad that I can’t even buy my husband a pair of slacks without texting him for those numbers. (Heh heh. Slacks.)

I’m learning to live with my can’t-do’s, though. And my list is certainly longer than the examples above. Do you have any fun ones?

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2 Responses to I Can’t Do It

  1. Donna says:

    I can’t pronounce “episcopal” correctly. Doesn’t matter how patient people are with me – I always emphasize the wrong syllable.

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