I thought that time I got chicken pox in California was the worst trip to not the magical kingdom ever.
Let’s take a moment to remember that I took exactly two plane rides growing up. On this trip, my parents either sent me with my grandparents because they wanted a break. Orrrrrrr I got sent because who the hell could afford two more plane tickets to California?
I’m on the plane, stoked about the tea cups and Mr. Toad’s wild ride, and the electrical parade.
The flight attendants had just finished the puppet show portion of my entertainment, and I ask, “Grandma? What’s this spot on my belly?”
“That’s a pimple. You should wash better.”
If there is one thing that Serbian immigrant knew, it was cleanliness. So I shrugged and went back to accidentally sticking my finger with the pilot pin the flight attendant had given me.
Then the next day I woke up at my aunt and uncle’s home, and surprise! I had been patient zero on that westbound flight out of O’Hare!
My diary entries were like:
“Today I kinda itched. I took a calomine bath. Andy [my cousin] played baseball. I did nothing.”
“Wish I could go to the pool. I’m still contajus. Four more days until I can go home.”
Poor little me. At least I had my Hello Kitty journal.
Fast forward to Feburary 2015. The Child and I took a semi-spontaneous trip to southern California. We had no Disney plans, but I was still beyond stoked.
I checked everything off my vacation must-do list and then some!
- See a lady with a custom face before claiming my bag at LAX
- See a lowrider Chevy S-10 pickup before boarding the car rental shuttle bus
- Go outside without wearing a jacket
- Drive over a traffic cone on the 405
- Move a couple guns to a less conspicuous corner of our bedroom
- Walk on sand (at a playground, but I’m counting it)
- See beloved family and friends
- Witness a car accident
- Step in dog (I hope) pee, but the dog was rescued in Hollywood, so it’s okay
- Know zero of the filmed landmarks pointed out by a native L.A. friend
- Go to two amazing parties
- Faint in the guest suite of a lady I met on the Internet
- Puke in said guest suite
- Care for my puking child in said guest suite
- Have Internet lady magically rebook our return flight (all it takes is a credit card!)
- Visit an E.R. near Disney Studios
I’m proud to say I topped my own childhood trip. I’m not competitive, but I do like to best myself.